You know how there's those songs that just literally take you back to an exact moment in your past? Those first few notes play, and suddenly you're transported. You can see, feel, and smell exactly what you did when you heard that song for the first...second...twentieth time.
Rascal Flatts does that for me. Every. Single. Time.
It's honestly the craziest thing. Any one of 10, 20, 30 songs can start playing, and my spirit literally surges! Why is that? Truth be told, the days when I was first introduced (and fell madly in love with) Rascal Flatts were some of my darkest to date. I listened to those three albums over and over, in an attempt to feel closer to that one special person. Which, in case you're wondering, worked. At least on MY side of things. But anyway...
I think this powerful affect Rascal Flatts has on me has something to do with the person I was when I was first introduced to them. I spent hours writing each day, and I was so. unbelievably. close. to God. We were honestly and truly inseparable. I really did pray without ceasing, without thinking anything about it.
Some of my favorite memories of that time in my life occurred during summer. I'd mow our family's yard, riding on that lawn mower with Rascal Flatt's blaring in my ears. I prayed the whole time. Every minute. Countless hours of prayer went up for all my friends, family, heck...even acquaintances.
Anyway, all that to say...it's been a while since I've gone back and listened to their older stuff. But this week, after having a very intense "come to Jesus" experience last weekend, I've found myself drawn to them. Perhaps I'm being drawn to my old memories, those old feelings. If you could crawl inside my head when those songs start to play...you wouldn't blame me for indulging myself. It's a good thing.
It makes me want to be that girl again.
Not necessarily the girl who pined for the love of a boy who wasn't ready to love her back.
But for the girl who lived wholeheartedly connected with her Maker.
I honestly do miss that girl. I can't help but wonder if I'll ever find her again.
"Now You're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you."
--Rascal Flatts "Day Before You"
So maybe I'll just keep listening to those old songs. I'll let myself be transported back to a time where I liked myself more than I do now.
Because...I'll be darned...but when those songs are playing, I really can imagine myself as that girl again.
I want to be that girl again. More than anything, I really do. I'm tired of carrying on like this. I'm tired of not living up to my full potential. I'm mad that I've let myself live this way for this long. It's time for a change.
"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand."
--Rascal Flatts "Stand"
